I’m generally a pretty calm guy.
I don’t often lose my cool, and honestly, not all that much bothers me. (Especially these days after the work I’ve done within myself).
But do you want to know what really pisses me off?
When someone complains about something or is active towards an issue, and then turns around and does the exact same thing themselves that they’ve just taken a stand against… well that really grinds my gears!
Enter the Gender Gap!
So, before I get into this, let’s be VERY clear on one important point: My ONLY mandate here is balance and equity. I have no desire for any outcome other than to see the human race unite as one; regardless of gender, race, religion etc.
In fact, I’m so passionate about such an outcome, that I work my ass off to perpetuate healing of such disparity through my company, Hug Your Chaos.
So now that I’ve qualified that, let’s get back on track. Not a single day goes by where I don’t see some meme or post on social media that objectifies men. Just yesterday, I saw one where a tradesman with his shirt off was repairing a light fitting, and the meme said: “I don’t know what he’s fixing, but mine just broke!”
GIRLS! If you are not okay with men posting memes of scantily clad women with some snide remark, then it is NOT okay for you to do it either.
Enter the conversation on suppression!
Let’s get down to business. As a man, it feels a little as though there is a general attitude by modern women that just because our fathers suppressed our mothers, that women have a hall pass to act in whatever way they want.
(I recognize that this is merely my take on it and it might be distorted from the ACTUAL reality, but the fact is there is a definite trend towards this behavior by SOME PEOPLE).
I know this is a gross generalization and that there are many women working just as hard to restore balance to the gender gap. But this IS an issue that needs to be blown into the light. The fact is, women were suppressed by men. Women were told that they could not vote, or that they could not enter particular places in public. Women were also told that they had no right to work and had to stay at home and raise children.
Yes, this happened and I’m not blind to the fact that in many respects, there is still a divide. It is still happening. The salary offered to women in many respects is not equal to that of men.
But do you want to know the reality of this issue? Are you open enough to hear the truth?
Enter the Patriarchy!
Both men and women sit adorned in the ivory towers overlooking the human race. The ruling elite, families that control both corporation and government alike, is comprised of men and women. Don’t fool yourself, when we refer to “the patriarchy”, we’re not talking about men alone!
This same ruling elite that determined women could not vote, also currently decides who is paid what for their time when they work for a company in the modern world.
To understand something crucial in this discussion… YES, women were told they could not vote and were treated as second-class citizens to men. YES, women have been held back from management and leadership positions and had unequal pay.
Enter the Divide!
But it was our SONS that were sent to war! Men bled at the hands of the controlling class. Men were abused and taken advantage of just as much by the ruling elite; by this patriarchy as what women were. It presented in a different way, but it was there, nonetheless.
Do you want to know the truth of the matter? Men have been just as damaged at the hands of the puppet masters. Only we’re now also having the female race vent their anger at the patriarchy onto us too. Instead of supporting one another towards healing and bridging this gender rift, men are being treated like criminals for crimes that we did not commit.
When I see cafes charging men more for the same coffee to make up for the fact that women are still being paid less, it breaks my heart a little. Yes, I am deeply saddened by this. Because it’s venting anger in the wrong direction. It’s blaming men for a decision made by rich, greedy power brokers. Blaming men who are just as hurt. It’s also doing absolutely nothing to bridge this gap.
Imagine if everywhere that sold anything started doing this! How is this going to do anything other than anger the everyday man and create less of an inkling in us to want to hold space for the healing that needs to take place?
Yes, I KNOW there is income disparity. I KNOW that there needs to be a change, but why punish men for a policy that is being created by the corporate elite?
Enter the Solution!
Men, the responsibility of this much-needed change also falls on us! When we remain voiceless in the face of this disparity, we are perpetuating the BS.
I’m going to ask you all for a favor, men and women alike. Rather than perpetuating the many faces of this issue; instead of continuing with this “us versus them” mentality, I ask that we ALL stop the blame, stop the hypocrisy and start working together!
I ask that as men, we learn how to hold space for women as complete equals, and women, I’m asking that you recognize men are not the enemy that created the problem, and given the chance, will work with and stand beside you as this healing takes place.
I ask that we all do our own healing work within ourselves, and then step across this rift by NOT acting in a way that further perpetuates the gap between us.
Although there are many things left unsaid on this topic, this is a start.
Image Credit: http://onlineincometeacher.com/business-tips/women-vs-men-in-business/