Before we get into this, it’s important that we set a few standards.
We’ll start with what a Life Coach IS, and what they are not!
In determining this, we can effectively put to rest many of the stigmas that are currently associated with Life Coaching.
What is a Life Coach?
In order to answer this, let’s paint a scenario. Imagine you are on a field, playing a game of football. You just appeared and have no understanding of the game or its rules. You don’t know what the others are doing and all you see around you is a bunch of people running around crazy like.
At this point, you start running, but you don’t know why or for what. Are you meant to be chasing the ball, running at other people? In your mind, there is little rhyme or reason behind anything that’s happening.
When you see someone score, you hear the crowd go wild, cheering and clapping, so you start to recognize that you have to get the ball and do something with it in order to be liked. Maybe you just steal the ball from someone but instead of being cheered, you get sent to time out. You are seriously confused, stressed and are not enjoying the experience at all, even though others are seemingly having fun around you.
Now imagine the same scenario, but instead of not knowing what the rules are and being stressed, confused and trying to copy what everyone else is doing, you worked with a Coach!
Before you stepped onto the field, you worked with a performance Results Coach that taught you how to play the game. Because of this, when you stepped onto the field, not only were you relaxed and at ease, you also DOMINATED the game!
Whether or not you are happy to admit this fact, life is a game! Just because you don’t understand the nature of it, or know the rules of it, doesn’t change the fact.
Good, Great and Beyond!
Unfortunately, up until this point, you have been under the presumption that if you employ the services of someone to help you get better at the game of life, then you are failing. This is a major mistake because just like in the scenario with the football match, a good Coach will teach you how to gain results you never even knew were possible, simply by showing you how best to play the game!
So a Coach is a guide. A GOOD Coach is someone that has experience playing the game and knows what works and what doesn’t. A GREAT Coach understands that you already have everything you need within you, and just shows you the doorways to your own brilliance.
A Coach is NOT a Counselor, they are NOT a Psychologist and they are NOT a Therapist. These professions work to help you make peace with events that have happened in your life. They help you work through the symptoms of your disconnection, but they are not so interested in how well you play the game NOW!
And so let’s take a look at the 7 Fatal Mistakes people make when choosing a Life Coach:
1. Social Proof:
While it is something we all look for these days, social proof is fallible. What we mean by that is, just because someone has a large following on Instagram, doesn’t mean they are a great Coach. In fact, if the numbers are massive and there is a lack of other inherent telltales (such as a business website, interaction from followers, solid and varied testimonials etc.) then you can almost guarantee that they use number chasing strategies and are probably putting very little focus on what ACTUALLY matters, such as building solid systems, and doing their own work.
The mistake here is choosing a Coach based purely on how big their numbers are across Social Media.
2. Cost Vs. Performance:
Regardless of what your opinions are regarding industries such as Life Coaching, and whether or not people have any real right to charge you for such services, this IS the current world we live in. Would it be ideal when someone had a better understanding of the game than you, that they just gave away that knowledge for free? Sure. But there are people that have a real passion for this industry and have made it their livelihood. (You like to get paid for your work right?)
There are two mistakes people make when looking at a Coach from a financial perspective. The first one is that if a Coach charges a lot, they must have immense value. WRONG! We have worked with Coaches that charged over $1000.00 a session that had absolutely no value to give. The second mistake is that just because a Coach charges next to nothing for their services, that they must care more about you. WRONG! If a Coach is not aware of their own value and worth, how can they teach you to embrace yours? Don’t choose a Coach based on price!
3. Ignoring Your Inherent Intuition:
When that quiet little voice within tells you that something is amiss, do yourself a favor and LISTEN TO IT! Although this will tie into the point regarding authenticity, your subconscious mind is picking up FAR more information than you are being shown on a conscious level. If you became consciously aware of everything your subconscious mind gathered, you would be insane within 10 minutes. BUT, when your subconscious picks up on an inconsistency in something, it will trigger a silent alarm within you. That is the voice of your intuition.
The mistake here is in not listening to your own inner knowing when choosing to work with someone. A great Coach is only a conduit for what you already know. They are a tool for guiding you to the inherent worth and value you have within you, giving you permission to embrace your greatest self and the confidence to excel at the game.
4. Qualifications Are Paper:
Although this has never been a hang up for us, so many people are concerned with the qualifications associated with Coaching. Let me reveal an inside secret to you. The Coaching industry is NOT regulated. Anyone can call themselves a Life Coach and charge people for advice. When a Coach has a piece of paper from the ICC or the ICF stating that they did a course that is “recognized”, what they literally have is a piece of paper from an organization that self-proclaimed as a governing body, but not recognized as one.
Don’t get me wrong, the standards set by organizations such as the ICC and ICF are doing great things for uniting the industry, but the reality is, I know Coaches that paid $20k for an ICF recognized course and still have no clue on how to guide a client towards ultimate success. The piece of paper is also not a guarantee that they have done their own work.
The mistake here is believing that just because a Coach has an official piece of paper, that they are a higher standard of Coach or has the ability to get you better results. Use the qualifications as a starting point, but check other telltales too.
5. Authenticity Is EVERYTHING:
There is very little that actually needs stating regarding Authenticity. Honestly, it really is the new black. If you’re on Social Media and see a post from someone that you’re weighing up as a potential Life Coach, openly bashing on someone, berating someone, getting messy drunk every weekend, being judgmental towards others, hating on anyone, begging for handouts, and generally not conducting themselves in a way that aligns with the message they speak during ‘business hours’, then you can pretty much guarantee that their worth as a Coach in showing you the Path to living at a higher standard is going to be questionable at best.
The mistake here is in not checking thoroughly on your potential Coach that they walk their talk, practice what they preach, and embrace their own Authenticity.
6. Taking Advice From Friends:
This is one of our personal favorites. Your friends are cool, right? That’s why you’re friends with them. But let’s take a quick reality check. You are the product of the people you spend the most time with. This is a fact! Unless you’re friends with Tony Robbins, Gary Vaynerchuk, Mel Robbins, and Deepak Chopra, then the people you surround yourself with are probably going to have similar understandings on your issues as what you do.
Don’t argue. There is a reason you have these people as friends. You connect, agree, align and feel good about it. When one of you starts to grow, it challenges the other and sometimes that challenge can be too strong. This is why friendships end.
Your friends are not going to make a good Life Coach for you. Their advice is often going to serve their needs too and even if they are altruistic in their approach to you and your issues, they are probably not going to have the necessary abilities to guide you through an up leveling process to your most empowered life.
The mistake here is trying to use a friend or family member as your Life Coach. Even if they ARE an experienced Coach, as your friend they are not able to push you and challenge you as deeply as someone that is removed from your situation.
7. Doing Their Own Work:
Finally, if your Coach doesn’t have a Coach, RUN! Seriously, are you going to pay good money to, and allow yourself to be guided by someone that is not actively seeking to improve their own life? Playing the game is a constant process of up-leveling. As we mentioned at the start, this is not something that can be done without having mentorship.
When you are looking for a Coach, look for someone that values and is passionate about Coaching. This is evident in the fact that they too work with a Coach themselves and are always seeking to improve what they can offer to you. Their working with a Coach within their own lives is also a sign that they are probably not going to be triggered by YOUR issues, and can, therefore, remain objective in helping you to overcome them.
The mistake here is choosing a Coach that is not doing their own work and constantly seeking to up-level their own life. It’s very hard to teach something you don’t know.
We hope this article helps for when you decide who to work with in creating a more powerful set of results in your life. Remember, when you start work with a Coach, you are creating a team that is all about empowering you to be able to excel at the game! The right team will make all the difference. The wrong one, will leave you out of pocket, frustrated and hating on the Coaching Industry. As with everything, there are good one’s and bad one’s out there. Following these guidelines and using your discernment will save you a ton of grief.
If you have any questions or concerns, reach out to us via HYC Life Abundance Coaching:
Chris & Linds